The Lighter Side


Blimey!! | Stress Diet | Love, Lust, or Marriage? | Life Gets Tedious, Don't it? | The Class Reunion | Slogans for Women | Senior Lament | Waxing Poetic on Ageing | Abbot and Costello Now | The Stance | Texas Vocabulary | Will Rogers On Growing Older | Favorite Things | Viagraisms | The Unwritten MAN CODE | Men You Would Meet In A Man's Restroom | Andy Rooney on.......................... | If Men Had A Vagina............... | Why Women Are In A Public Restroom............. | My Pills | Carlin Speaks.............. | Creative Writing Class | Marriage From HIS Side Of The Bed | Grandpa Knows Best | Man O Man | Stan Says.............. | Senior World | Are You Lonesome Tonight? | Go, MOM! | Mom's Special Dictionary | A Bad Day??? | Computerized Dr. Seuss | Rover's Diary | What Would You Do If you Had A Penis? | Thoughts On Ageing | Buttons Worn on the Blouse of a Savvy Woman | What's a BITCH? | My Men | Andy Rooney on Women Over 40 | A True Friend | Men | Growing Older | WHAT Kind of Sex? | T-Shirts for Fab Fifties | I've learned........................ | The First Mammogram | I'm MATURE! | Orgasms | Success | My Mother's Penis | Male or Female? | The Stranger In My House | Signs That You Are Growing Old | Ruminations | Mom and Dad | If Men Ruled The World | Bumper Stickers JUST For Women | A Woman's Life | Modern Proverbs | The Secret Of A Happy Marriage | The OTHER Differences Between Men and Women | Love Poems | You Know It's A Bad Day When...................... | When I'm An Old Lady | Thirty Years | 20 Things That You Would LOVE To Say At Work | The ABCs of Aging | Sexualisms | Southern Etiquette | How To Tell | A LOVE Poem | The Bare Necessities | Some Little Rules For Living | In 50 Years of Living | Aging | I'm FINE! | Remember? | A Little Advice | A Prayer For Those Getting Older | Female Progression
Go, MOM!


My son came home from school one day,
with a silly grin on his face,
He thought he was smarter than me, his Mom,
and could put me in my place.

Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright,
It's about the laws of the land today,

I don't have to clean my room,
I don't have to cut my hair.
Nobody can tell me what to eat,
My freedom of speech is guaranteed.
Its my choice of what I read, or watch on TV.

I have freedom of religion,
and regardless of what you say,
I don't have to ask your God for help ---

I can wear an earring in my ear,
And, if I want, can pierce my nose.
It's my choice if I so desire,
to tattoo Satan's numbers across my toes.

AND if you try to spank me,
I will charge you with the crime,
and I can back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't ever touch me,
this body is only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses and stuff,
that's just another form of child abuse.

Don't fill my head with morals,
like your mama did to you,
That's what's called mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
you can't do a thing to me,
I can call Children's Services,
better known as C. S. D.


My very first impression was,to toss this boy out the door,
But here was a chance to teach him a lesson,
for once and ever more.

I took my time and mulled it over,I couldn't let this go.
This kid of mine didn't realize,that he was messing with a pro!

AND AWAY WE GO.............
The next day we went shopping,and in spite of every plea,I didn't buy him 501s or shirts designed by Nike.

I had called and talked to C. S. D.,they said they didn't care,if I bought him K-Mart shoes,or a pair of Nike Airs.

I canceled his appointment to test his driving skills,
I'd probably be dead by now, if only looks could kill!

There's no time to stop and eat,or pick up stuff to munch,I think you should follow C. S. D.'s advice,
And make yourself a sack lunch.

So, what if you are too hungry,to wait 'til dinner time? Well, we're having liver and onions,
Cause it's a favorite dish of mine.

Can we stop to get a movie,so I can watch it on the VCR? Absolutely not! I sold the TV in your room
and bought new tires for my car.

I also rented out your room,you really don't need a bed.C.S.D. says all that's required of me is to put a roof over your head.

I only have to buy your clothes,and the food that you must eat,The money you used to get for an allowance,will buy me something neat.

No more eating after we shop,no more joking along the way.I too have a BILL OF RIGHTS,
that goes into effect today!

What's the matter, are you crying?
Are you down on your knees?
Why are you asking God for help?.........