You stop trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age,
and isn't breaking any laws.
You sing along to elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You go to bed at 8:00pm.
You send money to PBS.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
Your wear black socks with sandals.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You get into a heated debate over pension plans.
You get cable for the weather channel.
Your back goes out more than you do.