The Lighter Side


A Letter Home From A Marine.
The Retrosexual Man Code:
From A Kentucky Woman
Conspiracy Theory
Finding My Sex Drive
The Side Effects of Viagra
My Mirror
Country Wisdom
Sexy at 60
Poor Dad
A Dieter's Prayer
Stress Diet
Love, Lust, or Marriage?
Life Gets Tedious, Don't it?
The Class Reunion
Senior Lament
Waxing Poetic on Ageing
Abbot and Costello Now
The Stance
Will Rogers On Growing Older
Favorite Things
The Unwritten MAN CODE
Men You Would Meet In A Man's Restroom
If Men Had A Vagina...............
My Pills
Carlin Speaks..............
Creative Writing Class
Marriage From HIS Side Of The Bed
Grandpa Knows Best
Man O Man
Stan Says..............
Senior World
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Mom's Special Dictionary
A Bad Day???
Computerized Dr. Seuss
What Would You Do If you Had A Penis?
Thoughts On Ageing
Buttons Worn on the Blouse of a Savvy Woman
What's a BITCH?
My Men
Andy Rooney on Women Over 40
A True Friend
WHAT Kind of Sex?
T-Shirts for Fab Fifties
The First Mammogram
My Mother's Penis
The Stranger In My House
Mom and Dad
If Men Ruled The World
Bumper Stickers JUST For Women
A Woman's Life
The Secret Of A Happy Marriage
Love Poems
You Know It's A Bad Day When......................
When I'm An Old Lady
Thirty Years
The ABCs of Aging
Southern Etiquette
A Prayer For Those Getting Older

I'm Fine - How are you?
There's nothing the matter with me,
I'm just as healthy as can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, my blood is thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
All my teeth have had to come out,
And my diet I hate to think about.
I'm overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
And arch supports I need for my feet.
Or I wouldn't be able to go out in the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I'm all right.
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
Old age is golden  I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
The reason I know my Youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went!
But really I don't mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places my get-up has been.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing, I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and jump back into bed.
The moral of this as the tale unfolds,
Is that for you and me, who are growing old.
It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people know the shape we are in.