The Lighter Side
Senior World


A Letter Home From A Marine.
The Retrosexual Man Code:
From A Kentucky Woman
Conspiracy Theory
Finding My Sex Drive
The Side Effects of Viagra
My Mirror
Country Wisdom
Sexy at 60
Poor Dad
A Dieter's Prayer
Stress Diet
Life Gets Tedious, Don't it?
The Class Reunion
Senior Lament
Waxing Poetic on Ageing
Abbot and Costello Now
The Stance
Will Rogers On Growing Older
Men You Would Meet In A Man's Restroom
If Men Had A Vagina...............
My Pills
Carlin Speaks..............
Creative Writing Class
Grandpa Knows Best
Stan Says..............
Senior World
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
A Bad Day???
Computerized Dr. Seuss
What Would You Do If you Had A Penis?
Buttons Worn on the Blouse of a Savvy Woman
My Men
Andy Rooney on Women Over 40
A True Friend
WHAT Kind of Sex?
T-Shirts for Fab Fifties
The First Mammogram
My Mother's Penis
The Stranger In My House
Mom and Dad
Bumper Stickers JUST For Women
The Secret Of A Happy Marriage
Love Poems
You Know It's A Bad Day When......................
When I'm An Old Lady
Thirty Years
The ABCs of Aging
A Prayer For Those Getting Older

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.  Please be careful!"

"What?," said Herman, "It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the others, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I.  Let's have a beer."

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police officer sees a car puttering
along at 22 mph.  He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"  So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. 
 Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- eyes wide, and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed  limit!
What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You  weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed
limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed  limit?" she asked.  "No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly--twenty-two miles an hour!"

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But  before I let you go, Ma'am," said the officer, "I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK?  These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." 

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer.  We just got off Route  119."

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.  The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it.  I could have sworn we just went through a red light".

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. 

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.  She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.  So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row?  You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh mercy, am I driving?"

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.  The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.  She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. 

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.  Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. 
The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. 

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.

"So Ma, how is it here?  Are they treating you all right?" they ask.  
"It's pretty nice," she replies.  "Except they won't let me fart."

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.  One night the 96 year old draws a bath.  She puts one foot in and pauses.  She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know.  I'll come up and see."   She starts up the stairs and pauses.  Then, she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters.  She shakes her head and says,  "I sure hope I never get that forgetful."  She knocks on wood for good measure.  She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."