The Lighter Side
Waxing Poetic on Ageing


Now You Know
Random Thoughts
A Letter Home From A Marine.
The Retrosexual Man Code:
From A Kentucky Woman
Rereleased Golden Oldies
Conspiracy Theory
Finding My Sex Drive
The Side Effects of Viagra
My Mirror
Country Wisdom
Sexy at 60
Poor Dad
A Dieter's Prayer
Stress Diet
Life Gets Tedious, Don't it?
The Class Reunion
Senior Lament
Waxing Poetic on Ageing
Abbot and Costello Now
The Stance
Will Rogers On Growing Older
Men You Would Meet In A Man's Restroom
If Men Had A Vagina...............
My Pills
Carlin Speaks..............
Creative Writing Class
Grandpa Knows Best
Stan Says..............
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
A Bad Day???
Computerized Dr. Seuss
What Would You Do If you Had A Penis?
Buttons Worn on the Blouse of a Savvy Woman
My Men
Andy Rooney on Women Over 40
WHAT Kind of Sex?
T-Shirts for Fab Fifties
The First Mammogram
My Mother's Penis
The Stranger In My House
Mom and Dad
Bumper Stickers JUST For Women
Love Poems
You Know It's A Bad Day When......................
When I'm An Old Lady
The ABCs of Aging

* Old Age

Age is just a state of mind,
I've heard people say,
but my mind's not in my knees,
they feel their age every day.
You're only as old or young as you feel,
the old saying goes,
how come the only thing that feels young,
is the very tip of my toes.


I wake up in the mornings
hear lots of cracks and creaks
thought it was the bed
but realize it's me
Age sneaks up behind us
and before we know its here
it gives us a hefty kick
right in our derriere

~Miss Piggy~

And, that's the first place we seem to drop,
The backsides of our bods.
So when the party gets going,
we opt for sawing logs.
Oh why is all the energy
wasted on the youth?
For us to have to get like this
Just seems downright uncouth.


Age sneaks up on us
It's really quite unfair
My body used to be shaped like
an hourglass,
Now it looks like a pear.
Yes, my friends we all get old
and our dress size catches our shoes
no wonder we sing the blues.


Oh, woe is me,
my hair has turned quite gray!
Each hair just stands on end,
and does what it may.
It's coarse and so unruly,
and now there is no sheen.
Each day it only gets worse,
and I look just like Don King!


Talking about age
I am old beyond my years
I had hopes of being busy
But my mind is full of fears
I don't know why my mind
says young
But my body says old lady
you are done.
I am off to bed at this
time of night
Because can't keep awake
and a look a terrible sight
So snoring I am going
and my own horn I am blowing
I am 65 my mind it knows
No longer dancing on my toes.


I know when I was younger
How pretty I really was
Cute as a button
So was the buzz
Now I hear none thing
Not even a cute song
Cause I can't get onto
those jeans that used to be # 1
So I will be proud of this fine shape
Cause I worked really hard
For it took for ever
To get this big lard!!!

~ Kim Mc~

The old guy in the mirror
has swallowed my face
follows me everywhere
i'm lost without a trace
And further as proof
of what i'm talkin' 'bout
what used to be my sex appeal
is now my water spout
i'm tellin' ya guys
it sure gives me the blues
to see him hang his little head
and watch me tie my shoes

~ Tom~

Age is in the eye of the beholder ...
You're getting better, not just getting older!
So when in the mirror you see wrinkled skin,
Or fat where there used to be thin ...
Fret not ... cuz it's better to be out of the grave than in! ~

~ Becky~

When I was young and full of spunk...
In the days I was a Hunk...
And kept my shirt unbuttoned down the front...
So the girls could drool and swoon..
As I walked the streets at noon...
They would squeal with glee...
When I stopped to let then see....
Just how lucky one of them could be...
To have a Find such as me.......
But alas those days are gone....
The Hulk that was is no more....
now all I do is set and snore......
And dream of days when I could score .....

~FTD ~

On the subject of age
I am not a sage
But one lesson I have learned
Is the days go by, so quickly burned
Each of you share a chapter in the book of my life
From the little teeny-bopper to a soon-to-be wife
As my story unfolds page-by-page
Someday I too will reach your age
From my sunrise to my sunset, this I can do Live every day and be as
young as all of you


Get Up and Go
by Pete Seeger (1960)

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get up and go has got up and went
But in spite of it all, I'm able to grin
And think of the places my get up has been

Old age is golden, I think I've heard said
But sometimes I wonder as I crawl into bed
My ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup
My eyes on the table until I wake up

As sleep dims my vision, I say to myself
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
But though nations arewarring and business is vexed
I'll stick around to see what happens next

When I was younger, my slippers were red
I could kick up my heels right over my head
When I was older my slippers were blue
But still I could dance the whole night through

Now I am older, my slippers are black
I huff to the store and I puff my way back
But never you laugh, I don't mind at all
I'd rather be huffing than not puff at all

I get up each morning and dust off my wits Open the paper and read the
If I'm not there, I know I'm not dead
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed

Words collected, adapted and set to original music by Pete Seeger
TRO (c) 1964 (Renewed)
Melody Trails, Inc., New York NY

Each morning as I gaze absentmindedly
Into the mirror that is placed in front of me
I wonder who is the old man that I see,
With dark circles underneath his eyes Looking back at me
He looks so tired , what little hair he has is now all grey,
Symbolic, perhaps, of a life in disarray.
Yet, easily I recall another day

When a little boy stared back before going out to play
And asked that I join him. Seems like only yesterday.
What happened to that nice young man,
Combing his hair as he prepared for his first date?
Wondering if tonight would be the night-- He was even afraid to
Should he try to kiss her, would she kiss him back;
Or would she retreat and then pull back?

Laugh when he told her that he loved her so--
Should he even try, or just let go
Of just another fantasy?
More delusions of his adequacy!

And where is the man I used to greet most every day,
Before each of us left to go off to work and earn our pay,
And face new challenges each and every day--?
But now those times - they seem so far away!!
((Robert Kogan))

~ Rhonda~

To stop your train from derailments
From numerous old age ailments
You need to take several pills
Increasing the monthly bills.
Now I stand beyond half a century mark
But fear not, have not lost the spark
Past has flown in blink of an eye
Been a wonderful life I can't deny
Rest of the journey will also fly
With children and wife nearby.

~ Hershy~

Our thoughts on aging,
are sort of the same.
For all of our problems,
our age gets the blame.

There is no cure,
so we'll just complain,
as we move ahead,
with our old age pain.

Written by the PNPB Gang
July 18, 2003