Rejoice! You're A Fab Forty Woman!

Spunky Old Broads
Phenomenal Woman
Ageing Gracefully
Confidence Boosters
The Woman In Me - And In You
Over Forty And Fabulous
In Praise Of Older Women
Encourage One Another
Get In Touch With Yourself
Dare To Dream
Twenty Five On The Inside
Hateful Things Women Do To Each Other
Women Over 40 Earn Second Look
A Woman Should Have
Attitude is Everything
It Takes Guts To Grow Old
Dating Again
Mid-Life Dating Blues?
Over 40 And Looking For A Relationship?
Have Fun With Dating
Be Cautious with those Younger Men
If You Find YourSelf Alone
Keeping Romance In Your Life
Hair Styles For Women over Forty
Weight Loss In Women Over 40
Skin Care Tips For Women over 40
Make-Up Tips For The Fab Fifty Woman
Bad Habits That Age You
MakeUp Can Make You Look Older
Exercise! Exercise!
Single, FemaleAnd Over 40
Tips On Remaining Youthful
Help Yourself To A Better You
Subtle ways to be sexy
Blossoming After 40
Fashion Tips After 40
Mid- Life Woman
Spunky Old Broads


by Dr. Gayle Carson, CSP, CMC


I know that you have heard gobs about balance wheels where you look at your life and all the components in it.  Normally there are six to eight different areas positioned on the wheel—financial, career, family, education, leisure, community, spiritual and health.  These areas have probably changed for you over the years, but the important thing is to decide what they are for you right now.

I want you to sit down and really think about where you want to be a year from now.  It may not be easy, but it will get you started.  Once you come up with it, divide it into quarters, then into months, then weeks and finally days.  Next you need to write down in your daily to-do’s, whatever it takes to make this happen.  You’ll be surprised that once you become focused, it all falls into place.

Spend as much time as necessary deciding what areas you want to concentrate on.  Start by listing the things you think about, wish for, envy, always wanted to do and post them wherever you go.  The more you think about things, the more vivid they will appear.  Travel may seem like fun until you do it.  Working with artists may seem intriguing until it happens on a daily basis. 

Only you can decide how you want those areas divided up.  How much time do you want to spend on each area?  25%, 50%, 10% in one, 35% in another?  Then follow your plan.  It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks—it’s what works for you.

If your idea makes sense to you, go ahead and do it.  It may have to be tweaked and nudged a little, but the forward momentum will produce results for you which will lead to other better “happenings.”  Never let anyone control you or your thoughts.  Others can have an impact or influence, but you are in charge of your own life.  And if you’re really an S.O.B., you will find a way and not accept any excuses.

What is it you have to do every single day?  There has to be a semblance of order to your life.  How much time do you really have to do the things you’ve listed?  Are there only four of the eight areas above that are important to you?  Which is the absolutely most important priority?   

For example, my exercise and fitness is extremely precious to me so that takes over as priority #1 unless there is a speaking engagement, family emergency, or an airplane to catch.  It sets my mood for the day, allows me to fight off illness and accomplish even more in the day.  Therefore it takes up a major portion on my personal wheel.

When deciding how you want to do things, ask yourself if it’s going to be important five years from now.  And be sure you laugh every day by yourself or with someone else.  Fun gives you energy so be excited about who you are and what you’re doing.

What is this spirit and attitude thing?  Is the S.O.B. outlook so different than anyone else’s?  You bet!!

If you wake up with a smile on your face, joy in your heart and energy and enthusiasm in your step—you’re one of us.  If you pull yourself along with sleepiness in your body, despair in your soul and no one to share with, then you need to become one of us.

Make up your mind here and now you will only think positive thoughts and no matter what gets in your way, you can cope and handle it.  Did you know that five minutes of negative thinking takes 24 hours to recover from?  Are you around negative people?  Although you can’t eliminate all negativity from your life, S.O.B.’s have a way of letting these people take only minor time and thought processes from them.  When you surround yourself with folks who are motivating, enthusiastic and happy, you become the same way.

There’s a thin line between conceit and confidence.  Conceit is when you believe you’re the only one who can do something, and confidence is when you know that you do a very good job at what you’re attempting.  Confidence can never be replaced and conceit needs to be totally eliminated from your vocabulary. 

Your goal needs to be what I have used as a motto my entire life.  BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE.  Don’t ever compare yourself with anyone else, and do the best job that is possible for you at the time.  If you practice that, you’ll always be at the top of your game.  Never compare yourself with someone else—that’s not a win. 

It’s great to have role models and try to emulate your heroines, but you are you, and need to accept yourself for who you are.  There will always be someone who is taller, slimmer, richer or luckier than you are.  That doesn’t mean you can’t live a full, exciting, happy, stimulating and successful life.  Envy does no one any good.

Wanting to achieve, having a role model, using your influence for the good, and giving to the less fortunate are all positives and make you feel terrific.  When you look in the mirror do you see a “neat lady?”  When you are happy with you, you can really start appreciating everyone else. 

Part of attitude is how you go about your day.  Ask yourself, “What did I accomplish today?  For fun and for myself?”   This is your time, S.O.B.’s, and if you started with a fresh slate right now, what would you like to accomplish in terms of impact.  Would you start a new career, become a mentor or role model for someone younger than yourself, move to an entirely new area?

Enjoy the present, learn from the past and plan for the future.

2006 Dr. Gayle Carson, CSP, CMC to read more about Gayle, click here 

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When I meet a woman whose life is clearly filled with the fruit of kindness, I see a beautiful person regardless of her outward appearance.  The kindness she shows to the world is really the Holy Spirit at work making the world a more beautiful place, showing forth the presence of God.
~~Harriet Crosby~~
A Well-Watered Garden