Rejoice! You're A Fab Forty Woman!

It Takes Guts To Grow Old
Phenomenal Woman
Ageing Gracefully
Confidence Boosters
The Woman In Me - And In You
Over Forty And Fabulous
In Praise Of Older Women
Encourage One Another
Get In Touch With Yourself
Dare To Dream
Twenty Five On The Inside
Hateful Things Women Do To Each Other
Women Over 40 Earn Second Look
A Woman Should Have
Attitude is Everything
It Takes Guts To Grow Old
Dating Again
Mid-Life Dating Blues?
Over 40 And Looking For A Relationship?
Have Fun With Dating
Be Cautious with those Younger Men
If You Find YourSelf Alone
Keeping Romance In Your Life
Hair Styles For Women over Forty
Weight Loss In Women Over 40
Skin Care Tips For Women over 40
Make-Up Tips For The Fab Fifty Woman
Bad Habits That Age You
MakeUp Can Make You Look Older
Exercise! Exercise!
Single, FemaleAnd Over 40
Tips On Remaining Youthful
Help Yourself To A Better You
Subtle ways to be sexy
Blossoming After 40
Fashion Tips After 40
Mid- Life Woman
Spunky Old Broads


by Dr. James Boritz

"You've got to have guts to grow old. Life courage refers not to a single dramatic act of heroism or death-defying bravado, but to a steady, controlled commitment to facing the tough moments and staying the course. It is a life affirmation.

Most people die in the hospital. For most, this is not necessary--it just happens because of our collective inability to arrange to die at home. A good and decent death has three components--no pain, no tubes, and no loneliness. When these three criteria are satisfied, Woody Allen and the rest of us should have few complaints about our final exit.

Death is rarely characterized by pain that is not manageable. I surveyed the terminal trajectories of the ninety-seven patients in my practice who died in 1989. I analyzed their abilities to move, think, and toilet, and whether they had pain at the end of their lives. Only four did, and it was easily managed.

Every life, no matter how seemingly blessed, has multiple episodes of assault and outrageous unfairness. If your response to these injustices is to curse the darkness or turn inward to melancholy, then time will not have its chance to play a correcting role. If, however, you are tough enough to face adversity coolly and dispassionately, you can capture the energy of the assaults and turn them to your advantage.



Discovering Strength

Routinely I see bent, tormented people to whom nature has dealt a cruel hand. I am constantly in awe of the marvelous resilience that many of these people show, and they are great heroes and heroines to me. Just how they got to be that way is obscure to me. Further, they themselves cannot describe where their guts come from. They just have them. Some, when questioned, even assert that the condition that has cursed them has even been a blessing in disguise, as it has shown them how to cope and revealed strengths they didn't otherwise know that they had.

Conversely, I see hordes of patients whose whole lives become unraveled when a minor hurt or loss presumes to come into their lives, and the doctor's office becomes the courtroom for this conflict resolution. Rarely do we physicians cure; always should we comfort. This is a basic premise of medical practice. To comfort is important and appropriate, but this goal should not extend to patronizing. All of us hurt and need comfort at some time or another, yet all of us need courage to see the circumstances in their fullest
context and apply our best energies to their solution. Courage by proxy can't work. As a physician, I cannot feel my patient's hurts or comprehend fully the bruises. These hurts and bruises must heal by an innate process. An affirmative approach to life makes the bumps easier to cope with.

Courage in the Face of Danger

As I visualize a human life span, it is a bit like a minefield. All over the place, in unexpected places and unexpected times, there are hazards small and large. Of course you need the intelligence not to put your foot down in the wrong place, but more importantly, you need the guts and the courage to venture forth at the onset and to keep going, even while you recognize that danger lurks everywhere.

As you've grown older, you should have developed advantages from past experience. You've become accustomed to challenge--how to confront it and steer around it if it is too much, or how to apply its energy to a constructive pursuit. All successful older people demonstrate cool courage and a firm competency that accepts--even seeks--challenge. Without challenge, there can be no flow in life, and not to experience and confront challenges would make life a pretty pallid event.
That's why you have to have guts to succeed.

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When I meet a woman whose life is clearly filled with the fruit of kindness, I see a beautiful person regardless of her outward appearance.  The kindness she shows to the world is really the Holy Spirit at work making the world a more beautiful place, showing forth the presence of God.
~~Harriet Crosby~~
A Well-Watered Garden