I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-
life is a great time
for women. Even Oprah had a whole show on
how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few
thoughts of my
own and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing
your luck)
you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time
to care for our newly acquired
mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans.
We are no longer women
in sleeveless shirts; we are flying
squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and
you can see your rear without
turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that
this is the only time someone
will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a
tube top and scream, "Listen
honey, even the Roman empire fell
and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and
we're sitting on our biggest
ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone,
beeper-wearing teenager and
think: "For this I have stretch
marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we
can retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand
McNally -- more red and blue
lines than an accurately scaled map
of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start
pondering the "big" questions.
What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no
longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is
important. We realize that
breasts sag, hips expand and chins
double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would
any of you trade the
knowledge that you have now for the body
you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand
to hold all the
wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my
philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
Author Unknown
