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Ageing gracefully
is about RESISTING: Gravity Fear Boredom Judgment Pessimism Victimization Age gracefully is about EMBRACING: Stimulation Accommodation
Flexibility Adapting Making Choices Gratitude Joy Possibilities Growing old is chock full of challenges and opportunities.
With the ageing process I feel significant changes in my body, skin, hair, vision, and moods.
Each one of these challenges
is accompanied by an opportunity and a choice. I can choose to accept these changes, embrace them and make them part of the
ageing process AND use these changes as an opportunity to adjust and accommodate myself into a new and wiser woman. Or, I
can feel as though ageing is inevitable and a declining state. There will be some grief about the things I can no longer do
at the level and passion I did in the past AND I will embrace a different way of living.
I choose opportunity. This
option does take more energy but the rewards are huge, include feeling good about ageing and embracing all that process involves.
SKIN My skin has been the most visible exterior result of my ageing process with age spots, redness, wrinkles, sensitivity,
growths, less elasticity, and dryness. All of these things stare back at me each and every time I look in the mirror. The
wrinkles and age spots speak plainly of the time I have spent outdoors and in all kinds of weather. They crinkle in places
that I have been most expressive in my life, around my eyes, mouth and forehead. The age spots on my hands are evidence of
all the things they have accomplished.
The skin on my body holds old scars white and revealing of the falls, the surgeries,
and the accidents of daily living. The opportunities here involve good skin care inside and out. I use good quality lotions
with natural organic ingredients, eat lots of fruits and veggies, drinks lots of water and get plenty of sleep. All of these
things, though they don’t take away the signs of an active and full life make me look and feel healthy. It is amazing
how laughing and feeling joy can transform a face that has lived through many of life’s challenges into a radiant expression
of life.
HAIR As the years gallop by strands of silver or grey hair give way to entire patches of hair that has no
pigment. Many of these are course and unruly. Their non-conformist attitude fits well with the other changes in ageing. Some
women can tolerate grey, others can’t. I find myself admiring women who allow their hair to grey naturally. It may be
that these women have a certain acceptance of the passage of time. The flip side of this is that if every time a women looks
in the mirror she is plagued with the grey and it makes her feel less than she could be she has the option to do something
about it. How you feel emotionally goes a long way to how you look on the outside. The same good health applies here as it
did for the skin. Nurture it and take care of it.
VISION Sometimes seeing the world less clearly is sometimes a good
thing. Though in reality, it is a real frustration to not be able to read labels or bills. Having the right eyewear that allows
you to see far away and up close at the same time is a huge challenge. Adapting to this and being patient with your vision,
as well as taking care of your eyes will ease the aggravation of changing eyesight. The bigger issue here is that as your
physical eyesight changes so does how you “see” the world. It is a softer focus with less hard edges. I find that
I am happier when I don’t judge peoples actions as quickly or at all. Acceptance and allowing take the place of controlling.
I
see the joy in living everyday with more depth. Many of life’s challenges about succeeding in the world have transformed
into a gentler more soulful “seeing”. For me, it is about living life to the fullest, feeling joy as much as possible,
loving from my depth and letting the little things go. This softer focus allows me to smile more often, laugh at me and others
more and constantly experience the preciousness of life. BODY I find I have to work on my posture all the time or my head
will move forward on my neck, my shoulders slump and my lower back rounds. Many older women acquire the widow’s hump
from poor posture and bone density issues. Slouching is hard on the spine and the muscles surrounding it. We need to use our
skeletal system to support us, not our muscles. The muscles can then engage properly when they are needed and are less fatigued.
We have spent so much of our lives pushing forward to get ahead that our neck and head always lead the way. Pulling the head
back in alignment with the rest of the spine is relaxing and allows for the world to come to you when you are ready.
The
time for “pushing” is past. Our movements should come from near our sternum not our head. I find it interesting
that the proper way of moving is more from the heart area and not the head. If we made more of our “movements”
or decisions in life from our heart the world would be a better place I have pain and stiffness in new places, my feet, hips
and shoulders. I find myself moving slowly when I first get up or after I have been sitting awhile. I need to pay closer attention
to my body and move a bit slower and this is what I need to be doing more of in life in general. I find that stretching and
yoga make a world of difference and help me move more fluidly the rest of the day. Many alternative health professionals have
helped me walk more efficiently and healthfully, to sit and stand with my body’s health in mind. Rolfing, massage, chiropractic
work, and yoga are avenues to explore. In essence, I need to move differently in life as I grow older.
I have always
loved to exercise. I do something everyday that gets my body moving. It is stimulating and I feel very alive. As the years
go by I have found that I need to put less strain on my joints and muscles. I have altered my exercise routine to be gentler
and more compassionate to my body and as a result I hurt less. Those of you who don’t exercise enough will find that
walking can become a way of life, not a chore. Walk every where you can. Use it as a time to socialize instead of meeting
for lunch or breakfast. Stroll in the evenings after dinner instead of turning on the TV. Take this time outside to look around
and enjoy the natural wonder. As John Muir said, “Climb these mountains…And your cares will drop of like autumn
leaves.
” MOODS Moods are seeing the world through a lens of emotions. In my twenties my emotions were strong
and often unruly. They tended to suck me in like a cyclone and I never knew where or when they would spit me out. In my thirties
and forties I tended to understand my emotions more as guides to listen to but not necessarily grasp with a death grip. Later
in my forties and early fifties I have been able to sense my emotions early in their birth acknowledge what they were telling
me and allow them to move away. The emotion itself is never an evil thing, not even anger, resentment, jealousy. It is when
we grasp them too tightly and for too long that they fester and create negative issues in our psyche and our bodies absorb
this energy in muscle tension and organ disruption.
Feel DEEPLY, EXPRESS yourself honestly and ALLOW the emotion to
dissipate. We are told and so believe that our brain slows down as we get older. Our memory often leaves us grasping for names
of people, and titles to movies and books. There are times when walking into a room we find that we have forgotten just what
it was that brought us there. As in all body functions I am sure that the brain changes too. I have noticed though that the
more activated and stimulated my brain is, the fewer memory issues I have. It is easy to get into a rut as we age and by not
learning new things. Join a book or a writing group. Taking on something new all are challenging and stimulate the brain.
One of the ways I keep my mind activate is to have interesting conversations with people. Ask them about their view on something,
listen and ask questions and then offer your own view, not as an argument, but as a discussion to learn.
Learning is
the key to keeping our minds flexible despite the ageing process. It is often easy to get bored and complacent in life. Some
of us even fall into a place of depression and hopelessness. I have found that the one of the things that keeps me moving
in a positive vein is feeling grateful. It is an exercise I do twice a day. I usually do this on my way to work and just before
I go to sleep. It is this simple: “I am grateful for _______.” After about the 4th or 5th gratitude it is remarkable
how my world is cheerier and more optimistic. Taking the time to feel pure joy is another way to bring positive energy into
your life. It is watching a child play, a dog’s soft ears, a sunrise, a fantastic sunset, and a warm hug. The trick
is to allow the moment of joy, acknowledge it and let it fill you up completely. Feeling passionate about one thing or many
is marvelous.
It can be anything, but start delving into it with enough depth that you feel deep passion is what is
important. I feel passionate about skiing and about hiking. I feel whole, graceful and very full of life when I participate
in those activities. Find that passion and engage in it as much as possible. Do things just for the pure joy. Embracing the
process of ageing allows us to accept those changes that affect our minds or bodies, adjust to them in a relaxed manner and
experience our lives to the fullest. Resisting causes pain and anguish.
The choice is yours. Clients come to me as
a life coach with a variety of aspects which relate to ageing and how they can best cope with these changes. Each person is
unique in their journey. We will partnership together to EMBRACE the process and cherish your wiser years. “We aren’t
getting OLD. That is for the past generation. We are embracing new challenges and opportunities as the years pass. Attitude
is everything.”
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